I looked into your eyes and I was completely honest with you. Or perhaps I averted eye contact. What words did I use? Weak? Fragile? Delicate? All of the above. My voice quivered, my stomach knotted, muscles tensed, eyes burned with held back tears. It kills me that you want something I'm incapable of giving you. It kills me even more that you don't see how hard I'm trying.
Everyone tells me I'm not alone. I'm convinced no one knows what alone is.
My life isn't my life. This is someone else's.
I'm tired of all of this. My heart is safe nowhere.
I'm going into hiding. Everyone out.
I was going to ask April to come over today but no. I'm just done.
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