Some days I feel enraged; like a boiling pot of water bubbling furiously right before it overflows. I take a look at my life and my heart wrestles conflicting emotions. There is so much joy and blessings in my world yet this anger is festering inside me. I'm trying to contain so much but I'm dangerously close to the edge.
Words like "irreversible", "uncontrollable" and "permanently" tick me off. In all the right contexts they could be great. My love for you is irreversible. I was filled with uncontrollable laughter. We are in this together, permanently, forever. Instead these words give me a foul taste in myself. This black cloud is looming overhead and I'm without an umbrella.
The matter at hand is a serious one, but I feel as though I'm the only one taking it seriously. Frailty. I think that about sums it up. Everything is so weak and ever so breakable.
My days of standing alone and moving mountains with sheer will and perseverance are over. If only the world could hear my screams and pleas for help.
In addition, I have lost my self-destruct button. This, I'm sure, is a blessing.
Some days I feel everything. Other days I feel nothing. Neither is a place of potential for personal growth.
They say I'll get there some day. You would think that day would have been here by now.
