I need to release so much more than I'm about to. Holding back the tears is taking all my strength. I'm tired of this roller coaster I ride on. I want it to end. I don't know who to blame. Is it really just all me? I'm tired of not feeling good enough. I'm tired of feeling like I matter so much less. I'm tired of feeling overlooked. I'm tired of feeling like dead weight. Like a burden. I'm tired of words being tossed around meaninglessly. It's bull. Sometimes I sit here and I listen to people tell me I deserve better from them and I find myself agreeing. I hate myself for it. But then I think, what are you going to do about it? Make more empty promises? Because I'm not into that and I'm tired of being heart broken. Brain surgery is a bitch and the aftermath is too much. I'm so unstable and no one is being supportive.