AJC

I've never known anyone like April.

My little sister had left me a couple hours earlier and I was lying on my couch with Desmond with a blanket over my head just crying. I had somewhat recently written my last blog and  my heart felt like it simply didn't exist anymore. The one person I needed in the world had just finished talking to me and I was thoroughly annoyed because the conversation I needed was not going to be had. Not then. I needed to go to the store and I had the intention of walking but I lacked the energy. My plan instead was to stay on that couch. To rot on that couch. To not eat. To not drink. To not move unless Des needed something. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to question everything. I wanted to throw a fit. I was throwing a fit. I was planning on not talking to anyone for days and perhaps weeks. I just held myself tight and Desmond, always knowing when I'm sad, came closer to me and wrestled himself in my arms. I fell asleep crying. I'm so very good at that.

I woke up to someone knocking at my door.

I didn't want to get up, but I did. I got up without my glasses on and when I looked out to see who it was I couldn't tell. So I went back and put my glasses back on and a wave of relief rushed over me when I recognized her face. It makes me laugh that she never calls me to tell me she's coming over. That she never sends me a text. She just shows up like she has some sixth sense. And then she just talks, and talks. And she somehow makes me talk back. Then she drags me out of my apartment. She waters, feeds, and makes sure I get sunlight. I'm April's plant and I'm well taken care of.

April is one of those rare human beings that honestly is too good for this world. Far too good. She provides an abundant amount of joy in my life. Without her I would still be on my couch crying but it's much more than that. Without her my life would be less fulfilling. April is a model of what a young Catholic woman should be. I look at her and I want to be better. She's beautiful and there are not enough words to describe how precious of a gift she is to me and everyone around her. She's a living saint.

My heart is still hurting. My world still very much a mess and my thoughts still too much for me to handle. However my promise to my best friend was kept not because of my own strength, though I know not how today's events would have played out if April would not have come knocking. I only know that she did and every smile, and laugh I have with her isn't faked.

Another day passes.

I love you April.