Yesterday was a bad day. An extremely bad day. There isn't a reason to detail it. Or even to describe my emotions. I just don't understand that from the very moment I woke up it could by every second get worse.

Usually when I do something wrong, I know. When someone is upset with me I have an idea why. At the moment I'm just confused and hurt. I don't understand anything and I don't need this. I'm tired of never feeling good enough. Of always feeling like I'm a screw up. Some terrible person. And I don't even have a rational reason for it. It's just this emotion I can't shake. I feel diseased. I just cried and cried last night to Desmond asking him to answer all my questions. But all he could do was snuggle his tiny body closer to me and whimper too.

I just want to stop trying.