Demons.

I can't really wrap myself around my emotions. This state of mind I'm in. The quiet way my body shakes with anger. Blinded rage in which I just want to destroy everything around me. I want to release everything in fits and bouts. I want to be uncensored and just go off. My head hurts from my brow furrowing so often. My heart feels cold and hardened. Yet all of this I'm describing is so foreign to the person that I once knew myself to be. I don't know how to contain it.

My previous blog I can't recant nor do I want to. It upset people and it was taken as unfairly written. I'm not being fair. I'm the jerk in all of this. Which, perhaps, may be true. However at the moment I cannot see it as so. All I know is it's just feeding more fuel and proving my point more. That is, I am utterly alone and have been. I have no one in my life to really talk to and depend on. I can't express my feelings without them being turned inside out and hurting everyone and being thrown in my face and my expectations are obviously too high. So I'm stuck.

Role reversal. Where would I have been? If you were me, and I were you? Though that isn't fair I know. But really. What would have happened?

I just want it to be over. I want it to be done. I want to move on from everything. I want to be happy with everything. Just forget it all. Why can't I just forget it all.

This is possession.