I've been so avoidant recently. I have this big pile of emotional garbage I need to sort through and I refuse to even go near it. I'm afraid I started this whole "healing process" too late. I rather pretend I'm fine and go about this little game called life. Is any of this really necessary?
The true answer to that annoys me.
Let's change subjects, shall we? I need to begin a project. I'm not so sure how successful I will be, but I know I need to begin. I neglect my daily needs...well, daily. I have to somehow allow myself to access the tiniest bit of creativity my mind holds. I'm stuck at home doing the most beautiful job in the world, but in the beginning of this sentence lies the problem. I'm stuck at home. Do not get me wrong, I enjoy every second (even the difficult ones) with my daughter. But my productivity needs to grow beyond feedings, changing diapers, play time, and household chores. I have all of these ideas in my head but I'm not quite sure how to go about implementing them. Truth of the matter is I doubt myself far too often and I need to just let go and go with it. I suppose we will see what happens.
Sometimes I honestly and truly believe my life would improve so much if we could fast forward time. I hate oh so much this waiting game. Alas, now is all I have. Carpe diem and all that jazz.
New blog or an updated version may be needed.
"New blog...may be needed" hm? What what? Nah. Just soldier on. Don't clog up the World Wide Web in messy knots. Haha just kidding. I think you could use some external stimulation. Try taking a couple MOOC courses?
ReplyDelete